Who cares about outward beauty anyway?

This is something to think on. I feel like I focus more on that fact that I feel like I'm not beautiful on the outside, and I try to fix that. But I need to focus on becoming beautiful on the inside, because that's what's more important.

Outside beauty fades. As I age, my appearance will change, and probably not for the better. So why focus on outer beauty, when I can focus on inner beauty, which won't get wrinkly as I get older?

Be beautiful. Inside. Outside is just a bonus. And besides, happy girls are the prettiest.

Bet you couldn't guess...

1. I say "ya know" like it's going out of style.

2. My love language is gifts. If you've ever received a gift from me, you're one lucky human.

3. I have a tumor in my knee named Ingaborg.

4. I give everyone in my phone a nickname. Like, a ridiculous nickname.

5. When I go on walks alone, I talk to myself.

6. I don't ever share my opinions. If you've ever been in a class with me, you know how bad it is.

7. When I feel like I'm loosing control of my life, I dye my hair.

8. I filled out a punch card at my local froyo/ice cream place within a month of living here...

9. I'm afraid to cook things because I feel like I'll start a fire. This fear started a few months ago...

10. When I go to fast food type restaurants, I take home handfuls of spoons. We always seem to lose them..

11. I have enough taco sauce in my pantry to last through the zombie apocalypse.

12. I think compliments from gay men are the very best.

13. I sing opera in the shower.

14. I also say "Ouch! Wowie! Hot MAMA!" about every single time I get in the shower, because I never fix the temperature until I'm already in the shower...

15. I want to propose to a stranger with a ring pop.

16. I hate when people tell me what I am. Like, let me decide whether I'm an introvert or an extrovert, yeah?

17. I'm an external processor. Until I can talk to someone about something, I can't resolve it.

18. I'm a hardcore Monk-ie.

19. If you insult my dog, I'll have a hard time forgiving you. Seriously.

20. When I cry, my eyes turn this insanely beautiful color.

21. I will probably never allow you to see me cry.

22. I take comfort over being attractive almost 100% of the time.

23. I hate passive aggressive people.

24. When I'm home alone, I jam to Wu Tang Clan and The Killers. #sorrynotsorry

25. Cheesy pickup lines are the way to my heart.

26. Enya makes me so so happy. Blast to the past in the best way possible.

27. If I love you, I'll make/give you food. The more food you receive from me, the more I love you.

28. One of my favorite board games is called "Ulcer".

29. I'd rather spend time with one or two people I care about a lot, than spend time with a TON of people, even if I care about all of them.

30. I want to be Aubrey Caswell when I grow up. Her last name is Taylor now, just btw.

31. I have about a thousand pairs of shoes, and only wear one pair...

32. I can play a grand total of zero sports.

33. I don't think germs are a big deal. I'm roughly the opposite of a germaphobe.

34. If you're a musician, my opinion of you just increased by 50%. Wanna get married? ;)

35. I have changed more diapers than most mothers.

36. My apartment stays at roughly 80 degrees ALL THE TIME, whether our heater is on or not, even though it is FREEZING outside.

37. I can almost lick my elbow.

38. One of my greatest talents is walking and talking simultaneously.

39. I had braces earlier this year.

40. I think the sand and dirt of New Mexico is beautiful. I'll get incredibly angry at you if you argue this.

41. I think Cool Whip is disgusting.

42. If you talk about sharks, I will get sick.

43. I think skinny guys are the best. :)

44. The chances of me trying to get you to play Mexican Horse Race are pretty high.

45. Wreck It Ralph is one of my favorite movies, for nostalgic reasons.

46. If I don't like you, I might call you Orange Biff, or something similar.

47. Sometimes my roommates and I like to pretend to be pregnant.

48. I can't make caramel apples.

49. All I want for Christmas is a camelbak and a pair of good climbing shoes.

50. I super love it when people comment on my blog. ;)


If you knew the majority of this, there's a chance your name is Bonnie...;)

My roommates >> Your roommates

Gratitude is good for the soul

I've been way too negative and depressed as of late, so here's a post about 15 things that have brought me joy in the past few days.

I'm grateful for:

1. The little apartment I live in. Cuz hey, it's a place to live, and it's kinda cute. Sorta.

2. My roommates. Seriously, I could've been given whack job roommates. I mean, we don't get along 100% of the time, but we get along pretty well and I'm sooo grateful for that.

3. Technology. (Que Kip singing his technology song. Napolean Dynamite, my friends) Because seriously, if it weren't for technology, what would I do? I'm able to skype with my family, and the people that I love most. Or I can facetime with my family on Sundays. Or I can call my mom when I'm having a bad day.

4. Bonnie. Hands down, one of the best people in my life right now. She's just the right mix of sweet and motherly. She keeps me in check, but supports me.

5. My job. I know I complain about it a lot, but I really am very grateful for it.

6. Fuzzy blankets. How else am I supposed to stay warm?

7. My dog. Despite what some people say, dogs are incredibly loyal(Shut up, Austin). I've been away from my dog for about 4 months now, and he still goes and sits outside my bedroom door and waits for me. Seriously so blessed.

8. My family. My family seems to have some intuitive knowledge of just when I need them. I'll be having a bad day and then my mom or one of my siblings will call me, or my dad will send me a picture of one of my little siblings snuggling with my dog. I'll come home from a horrid day at work and there will be a package from my family full of pictures and letters from my siblings, gift cards, candy, and food. Or my mom will send me letters with talks from general conference that 100% apply to my life and what I need to hear. I'm so grateful for that.

9. Postal Service. I mean, I might as well mention this. Because the mail man makes me a happy camper quite often.

10. Pandora. Because sometimes I need technology to tell me what I want.

11. Jamba Juice. Because sometimes I need a quick trip out of the apartment with my roommate to lift my spirits.

12. The gospel. Not to be super mormony, but this is what keeps me going.

13. Snap chat. Like, not to mention this right after I mention the gospel, but I have very many memories because of snap chatting and they're funny and all that so I'm mentioning it. No judging.

14. Nice ladies at the gym. This one doesn't need a lot of explanation, at least not here. Just know that it's a funny story.

15. Socks.

"What in the freak just happened?"

You know those times when something so incredibly funny happened, but if you tried to explain it to someone, it wouldn't be funny in the slightest, because it was so in the moment?

That is 100% how my whole night went yesterday.

I was going to tell you all about it. I was. I was going to talk about the delays on the way to the grocery store, the kitchen failures, the disappointment in the movie, throwing apples, and bladder malfunctions. But I feel that it wouldn't be nearly as funny to you as it is to me. So, I'd like to share with you. But I won't. So please just imagine I just told you a horribly funny story and laugh very hard. Basically the same thing.

Feelings, guys. Here are a few.

I'm really grateful for Bonnie. I love her buckets. I was so blessed to be given her as a roommate. She's one of the best people I know and I adore her to bits and pieces. She is the perfect amount of comforting and reprimanding. When I'm having a bad day, she listens, and then makes me affirm myself, and lifts my spirits in a way that I wouldn't expect. Seriously. No one else is ever allowed to have her as a roommate because I'm selfish and I want her for forever.

My mama is one of the very best people on this entire planet, hands down. I have never ever received better advice than what she gives me. She presents things and solutions to my problems in such a light that I wonder why I didn't think of it before, because it's so simple. She gives me so much inspiration and hope.

Brooke, my best friend. If you ever need someone to call and just vent to, and cry, then she's your girl. Except for I'm calling dibs, so you actually can't. Sorry, not sorry.

One last one. I promise I'm almost done. Austin. He's seriously been such an amazing friend and such a source of happiness and comfort since I moved to Utah. I can't even begin to express my gratitude for this guy or how wonderful he is. Everyone he interacts with is a lucky person, because he sees the value in every single person in such an incredible and genuine way, it blows my mind. So so grateful to have him in my life, even though he just moved and that makes me sadder than I could express.

I'd also like to briefly point out that there are a billion other people that I love.

And also, just throwing this out there, but also, apparently I say 'ya know?' too often. What even. I wasn't even aware that I said this until yesterday. And now I catch myself saying it about 50 million times a day. Just thought I'd inform you all, just in case you were curious.

I feel like if I write for too much longer that it would turn into a diary entry, basically, and that's not exactly what this blog is for. So ima shut up now, and snuggle with my lovely roommate Bonnie while watching an episode of Glee. Don't hate.

Sleep well, friends. :)

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I'm counting on that.

Words have so much weight

That last post complaining about work was a little bit, uh, not nice. So here's a post for the not mean side of me.

Thank you to that guy who called me "The girl with the carrot colored hair". I found it endearing and adorable.
Thank you to the little girl who bought a hairbrush with all change. It was cute cuz you were little and so sweet.
Thank you to the same little girl, who told me how pretty I was as I counted her nickels.
Thank you to the dance instructor who told me I was as skinny as his dancers.
Thank you to the gay man who told me my jeans made my butt look good.
Thank you to the lady who adored my pants.
Thank you to the two older ladies who went on about how great my cardigan was for at least 30 seconds.
Thank you to the man who complimented my work ethic as I helped him search for a jacket he wanted.
Thank you to the woman who said I have a great fashion sense.
Thank you to the older man who said I have the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen.
Thank you to the lady who said I have a perfect face.
Thank you to the group of girls who loved my hair color.
Thank you to everyone that complimented me that one day I wore my grey hairband.
Thank you to that sweet girl that said she loved the way my hair curled.
Thank you to the transvestite that told me I could rock combat boots like no other.
Thank you to his friend for telling me that I have nice ankles.
Thank you to that nice gay couple who said they loved my blue tights.
Thank you to my manager Scott for always complimenting me on my choices of jewelry.
Thank you for everyone that never says mean things on days where I woke up late.
Thank you to the two nice volleyball girls that didn't say anything when I was sobbing at work yesterday.
Thank you to the two other volleyball girls who gave me tissues and asked what was wrong when I was sobbing at work.
Thank you to the nice lady who said I was the most helpful person ever.
Thank you to the lady who brought a whole loaf of french bread into the dressing room with her. Because that was seriously the funniest thing I'd seen in a long time.
Thank you to my friends who come and visit me at work. Just had to add that cuz it always puts a smile on my face.

25 Reasons why I want you to stop shopping

Or at least, be nicer about it.

There are a lot of reasons that I don't really like my job. A lot of the problems I had with my job originally have sorted themselves out the longer I've worked there. But. This post is mainly to complain about my job. So. If you're tired of me complaining or you work retail and you LOVE it(please see some help), then read no further.

I'm a Sales Associate at Forever 21. Not just any Forever 21, but a HUGE one. The one from back home is about a quarter of the size of this place. And there's another one in town as well that's still about a quarter of the size. I mean, this place is HUGE. The size of the place is one of the reasons I don't like my job. But. The main reason my job drives me up the wall is the people.

If you're one of these people, just stop.

1. The "I need this off the mannequin right now" people. Okay. I understand that you desperately want that shirt with a picture of a cat on it. But there are rules I have to follow. So can you hold on to your horses for like, 10 minutes while I follow protocol and get the shirt for you?
2. "Now you need to come find me!!" This bugs me so much. I spent forever undressing and redressing a mannequin for you, and now you've disappeared? Don't get mad if I put it on a rack and you come asking for it in 30 minutes and someone else snatched it up.
3. "Actually, I don't want this." You don't have to buy everything you pick up. But if you're gonna make a big hassel out of getting those overalls, and then you change your mind? I'm gonna be peeved. Especially if you throw a stink and you're rude.
4. "What do you mean you can't take that off the mannequin in the window?" Okay. There are a few rules, and I have to follow them. And one such rule is that there are not allowed to be naked mannequins in the window, even for a short period of time. So if you want a jacket that's on a mannequin facing the window, you're out of luck. Find a similar one.
5. "I just bought this upstairs, but I want to return it now." REALLY!? You know that now I have to wait 5 minutes for a manager to come downstairs and authorize this return, and you don't get money back. You want an exchange? Why didn't you finish your shopping before you checked out?
6. "I just bought this, but there's a small rip right here. Find me a new one to exchange it with." There have been instances where seriously half the associates are combing the store, looking for a stupid leather dress in a size small because we only have one left because yours wasn't adequate and someone misfiled it. Seriously. Either take the 10% discount for the damage, or look for the new dress yourself. That rip was tiny. Invest in a sewing machine.
7. "Can you order that for me online?" No. I can't.
8. "Are you sure you don't have any left? I think there's probably more. Are you really sure?" Yes. I just checked the inventory. That pair of boots is the last pair. Take it or leave it.
9. "Why can't I take this pair of earrings into the dressing room?!" Why can't you shut up.
10. "Only 6 items? Really?" Look, I'm not saying you can't try them on. Just put them on the back of the door and swap them out. It's not a big deal. You just have to open the door in a minute. Chill.
11. "Can my friend come in the dressing room with me? Please? Just this once?" No. I don't know what ya'll are gonna do, but no. There's one next door. Snap chat each other from separate rooms or sumthin.
12. "Can you have them send this same item over from another store so I can pick it up at this store?" Uhm...no.
13. "I brought 50 items into the dressing room and I'm not gonna buy a single one." Thanks. I wanted to reorganize all of that. Thank you so much.
14. "I just wanted to try these on for fun." Okay. Seriously. If you are going to try on THAT MUCH STUFF on a SATURDAY, please just buy it. Please.
15. "Find this item." Do you have the SKU code for me? No? Okay. Well, find this item yourself. I don't even know if this store carries it. Because we don't have the code.
16. "Here are 50 pictures of items my daughter wants me to buy. Find them. It's okay if they're not exact." If it's so okay if they're not the exact item, why won't you accept this other shirt that's almost identical? You're the straight male here. Come on. You don't even know what a peplum is. Just take the shirt. I searched 20 minutes for it.
17. "Is there anyway I could get a room right next to my friend?" I'd like to say yes. But seeing as there are no fitting rooms open next to each other, I'm gonna have to say no.
18. "So, I saw this shirt at H&M...and I was hoping you'd have it." Does this look like H&M?
19. Also, people. We're not your personal shoppers. We each have different styles. We don't know you. So if you ask me to find a shirt that will go with a specific pair of pants, I can tell you what I would pair with it. If you don't like that, then I'm sorry.
20. WE ARE PEOPLE TOO. Before I worked retail, I kinda viewed Sales Associates as objects. It happens. You don't know them or their lives. They're just random people with fake smiles trying to convince you to buy stuff. I get it. I've been in your shoes. But we're just trying to make ends meet and this is the only place that would hire us so would you please stop yelling because I can't find that earring?
21. Please don't look at me like that when I ask you if you'd like to get a $1.80 cami when you're checking out. I'm kinda obligated to ask. Just say no, give me money, and you can go on your merry little way and get a cami elsewhere.
22. Does it look like I'm a model? No. I shop in the Basics section of this store. It's where I get my spandex shorts and my t shirts. If you want advice on yoga pants and basic denim, I'm your girl. You want advice on bandeau's and acid wash jeans? Look elsewhere, like, I dunno, the girl who works in that section.
23. I've mentioned that the store is HUGE. I don't know the EXACT LOCATION OF EVERY SHIRT. We may get lucky occasionally and I'll know exactly where the slutty black dress with the cutouts is, but 9 times out of 10 I'm gonna have to ask multiple other sales associates for help, and chances are that you're gonna have to search for it too.
24. I'm a SALES Associate. So please don't take any advice I say seriously. It's my JOB to make you buy stuff. If my boss notices that I make a lot of sales, I get scheduled more, my paycheck gets bigger, and I'll move up in the food chain. So, unless you're my friend, the chances of me LOVING that sweater are about 50%. No, of course those leggings look GREAT on you. Yeah, I DEFINITELY buy all my jackets a size too big, don't even worry about it. Yup, I have one of these headbands in every color and I wear them ALLLL the time. Come on people. I'm sorry for lying to you but that's sorta my job. Our word is not law.
25. Just smile. Be nice. Seriously, there are some people who come into work and they compliment me on something and they're super sweet and they're an overall nice customer and I remember those customers and they make me happy. I could list specifics even, of customers that I've loved, because they were so great. If you're nice and all that, I will gladly walk around with you and make small talk while I help you search for the red fur vest you want for who knows why. Just be nice about it.