Dare not to generalize me

I don't think that title ^^^ even works, grammatically. But, I don't want to bother changing it, so it stays.

So, I was sitting in seminary today. Like I do every week day. (I'm about to digress) I looked like a hobo that had rolled around in mud and then done something else disgusting. My brain isn't working today, and the reason why is because I woke up with a killer migraine yesterday. It sucked. However, it's mostly gone, and I am here to tell you about a thought I had.

I'll get back on topic now.

I'm sitting in seminary. And we are talking about weaknesses, the armor of God, blah blah. It was a good lesson, just one we're all forced to hear at least 2345456456782345 times a year, whether it be sunday school, YW/YM, Seminary, FHE, etc. You hear it a lot. And wouldn't you know it? We've all seen the orange analogy. ;) So, normally, this kind of lesson wouldn't be note worthy enough for me to BLOG about it.

It gets better, so keep your pants on and wait.

My teacher has a vase of water. And then pulls out an orange. Or, as I called it, a Green. It was a green orange, which is contradictory, so it's a green. Call it a green. A green. SO, she plops this orange in the water. 5 points to whoever can tell me what'll happen. If you guessed "IT'LL FLOAT!", then ding ding ding. You get a mythical prize. Enjoy that. If, for some stupid reason, you guessed "It'll sink. Derp." Then please go throw some greens in a bathtub and take as many science classes you can. Now, while you perform your science experiment, I will continue with my rant, or whatever you could call this.

When the teacher asks what will happen, we all answer "it's gonna float." in tired monotonous voices. Wouldn't ya know it, it floats. Then, she peels the green. And asks us what will happen when she puts it back in. We all say, "It's gonna sink." And then I add, because I am oh so sarcastic and always in a good mood in the morning, "Just watch. It's gonna float."

It floated.

I laughed.

My teacher than kneaded it with her hands until it was a poor, abused green, and it kinda floated near the bottom. Everyone started making jokes about how it was a "special" orange and all of that, and then one of my teachers says, "It was a homeschooled orange."

I really laughed then. NOW, before you other homeschoolers say "HEY WE AREN'T STUPID/SPECIAL!" and all you non-homeschoolers say "HAHAHAHAHA I WAS ALWAYS RIGHT!" give me a second to say a few things.

I am one of 2 homeschooled kids in my class. I don't really care. This particular teacher, she homeschooled her kids. I appreciate a funny homeschooled joke. In fact, I make them. If I do something stupid I just say, "Ya know what? I was homeschooled." And if you know me, you know that I'm being sarcastic and it's hilarious. *note* Don't make a homeschool joke around a proud homeschooler. Proud in the "I will punch you" type of way. Especially if they're ripped. Just saying.

Anyway, after all the laughing subsided, and everyone made a few homeschool comments and it was oh so funny(not exactly), and we were all ready to pay attention to the lesson, one girl(she's....special), makes a comment that all homeschoolers have good standards and therefore, they are set apart and are a higher "species" or whatever.

I call bullcrap.

In fact, as soon as she states this, my friend who sits next to me, turns to me and says, "Yeah right. I can think of plenty with bad standards." And we list a few that we both know. And then he says, "The only goody two shoes homeschoolers I know are you and Josh(the other one in my class)." For everyone that knows me better than he does, I give you permission to laugh.

Goody-two-shoes, I am not.

That's not my point tho. My point is that I am a member of three "groups" that receive a lot of generalization: I'm a mormon, homeschooled, and belong to a large family. People would think I'm the worlds biggest geek/most sheltered child. In fact, on more than one occasion, I've had people say, "YOU'RE HOMESCHOOLED?!? NO WAY! You're way too cool!"I know. I'm just super awesome that way.

APPARENTLY, If you're a Mormon, you eat jello and funeral potatoes all day, everyday. You wear turtle necks and bootleg highwater jeans, or a jumper with a long sleeved frilly shirt under it. And socks and sandals. And socks that are all frilly at the top. You get my point. We are also, apparently, little law abiders.(I'm not saying that we don't, but I'm saying that we're not high-and-mighty).

If you're homeschooled: You wear your pj's all day(only sometimes, gosh), you watch tv all day(no, that's not having an education), and do school on your bed(okay, that one is spot on...). Apparently, you also have FRICKIN HIGH STANDARDS. And you've never been on a roller coaster. And you worship Hitler(I've actually had someone ask me that once). The assumptions are ridiculous.

If you belong in a large family: You all share underwear(bull), you shop at thrift stores(which is cool), you drive a short bus(...), you're loud, your house is a WRECK, and your parents are lunatics that can't handle you or remember your name.

I have a piece of mind to share with you. I quite enjoy jello and funeral potatoes, because I'm human. However, I have had neither today. AM I NO LONGER A MORMON!?! ;) And the clothes...I don't even OWN a turtle neck, and it goes the same for the rest of the "mormon" clothing. (my dad wears socks and sandals, but he's classy. ;) ) I am law abiding. However, I speed. I've broken a few minor laws, of which I will not go into at this moment. That's need-to-know.

I have not worn my pajamas all day in eons, with the exception of when I'm sick and bed ridden. I never watch tv. And I only do school on my bed 25% of the time. I also have high standards, but not to the point where I refuse to kiss boys or wear a swim suit. There is moderation in all things. I have not only been on *A* roller coaster, but multiple, and I quite enjoy them. And Hitler....do I really have to clarify that? (no, I'm not a Nazi.)

I have MY OWN UNDERWEAR. I've never shared, and never will. Thrift stores are the frickin bomb. I've gotten some of the best stuff ever at those places. One mans trash is another mans treasure. If you're too high and mighty to shop at a thrift store...you have problems. GO SAVE MONEY. A "short bus" is the only thing  big enough to fit my whole family. Deal with it. Our house is NOT a wreck. Cheaper by the dozen makes big families look bad(I love that movie, don't get me wrong). My parents are wonderful and not only PARENT wonderfully, but they LOVE us. Sometimes people forget names. Heck, I do it all the time. To my FRIENDS. It happens. Yes, I've been called the dogs name. No, I don't care.

So, this became much more of a rant than I originally planned. So sue me.

Generalize me, I'll generalize you. As a butt head.