T-Swizzle

Have you ever had one of those moments where there is so much you should post that you don't post?

Yeah.

Well. I could tell you about everything that's happened since my last post, but I won't. Just know that my life was HIGHLY exciting. ;)

There is ONE thing that I want to talk about. And I just hope to high heavens that the person this concerns chooses not to read my blog any time soon.

A couple weeks ago I got a text from a 'friend'. Let's call him Jimmy. Now, Jimmy and I once sorta dated. Keyword: once. And by that I mean that it's over, not that it was only once cuz we dated like, three times. ANYWAY. That's beside my point. So, Jimmy texts me, which is strange, and says, "So, random question". And I had just gotten a new phone, and had NO CONTACTS, so I was all, "Random answer, once you tell me who the crap you are." Once I found out who it was, I had a small desire that he'd maybe got offended that I didn't have his number. I shouldn't feel like that? I know. Doesn't stop me. ;) SO. As we talk, he tells me the purpose of communication was that he had very recently seen the new Taylor Swift music video, "I Knew You Were Trouble". If you haven't seen it, GO WATCH IT. He tells me that when he started watching the video, that Taylor looked like ME.

I cried laughing.

And then I realized he was serious.

I was like, "WHAT THE EFF ARE YOU MENTAL?!" And then I thought, "Well hey. Taylor Swift is effing gorgeous, so that's a compliment." And then I thought, "IS HE TRYING TO SAY I LOOK LIKE A HOT MESS?!" And then my thoughts deviated from my general appearance with what he said next.

He explained that it weirded him out the entire time he was watching it because he felt like he was staring at his ex-girlfriend. And he felt like it was me singing to him. And he was thinking, "She knew I was trouble..." blah blah blah.

He wasn't. Just..he wasn't.

I kinda laughed about it, and he told me that he wasn't totally crazy because he had his friend facebook stalk me(only slightly creepy, right?) and she agreed that I looked like Taylor in that video.

The next day, I was in the car, and that song came on the radio. As is customary when I'm in the car, I blasted the song and sang along at the top of my lungs.

And then I got to the bridge.

"When your saddest fear comes creeping in
That you never loved me or her or anyone or anything"

And then I started thinking. Cuz I do that, occasionally.

Now, I will be the first to admit that my past relationships have been the farthest things from actual RELATIONSHIPS. I like to think otherwise, but I'm not gonna lie. The reason for this is simply because I have never found someone that I'm just like, "Hey, I would LOVE to be your girlfriend." and mean it. With one exception, but that doesn't count at all for multiple reasons, including the fact that I was 15.

So, I thought about it, my whole drive home from my piano lessons(which is a pretty long drive), and I realized that, in the scenario that me and said ex were Taylor and an ex, I would be the ex and he would be Taylor.

Yes, envisioning him as Taylor Swift made me snort my tea just now. Yes, I drink tea. Yes, I'm going to continue with my story now.

See, he wasn't trouble. He was a normal 17 year old boy, he most DEFINITELY wasn't a bad boy, he just wasn't ANY of that.

A lot of you are going to disagree with what I'm about to say. Don't get your panties in a knot, and hear me out.

He was Taylor. *I* was trouble. Allow me to refresh a few lines of the song for you. Except I will change the wording.

"That I never loved you or him or anyone"
"And you heard I'd moved on, from whispers on the street. A new notch in my belt, Is all you'll ever be."
"I was long gone, when you met me. And you realize the joke is on you."
"And when you fell hard, I took a step back, without you."


As I thought about this, I kinda had this montage of past relationships. And it's true, especially with Jimmy. I'm the trouble. And I'm not saying that I'm trouble in the sense that TAYLOR was talking about, but hopefully you guys get the picture.

And I'm not posting this so my friends will text me and say, "Aurora, you're not trouble!" And blah blah. I know, I know. Thank you in advance. ;)

I think that, having this perspective, in a way, is good. Well, it's good now. Because I know I've never been in love. Ever. There was one boy that I thought I loved, but again, I was 15. I knew nothing about anything I was talking about. Because of this lack of love, it's made it VERY easy to let go of the relationships I've had. All of them. We break up, I cry for like, 2 seconds, and then I'm like, "Well, that was nice," and I move on.

So, boys, unless you are REALLY special...watch out. Cuz I guess I'm trouble. ;)