"It's killing me to see you go, after all this time."
Life is one of those confusing things no one really understands, like a person that enjoys eating mayonnaise out of the jar. It just doesn't make sense.
Have you ever sat and just thought about how circumstantial everything is? Like, if you hadn't made ONE decision to go to a certain party, you never would've met your spouse. I think about this all the time. My life is full of circumstantial events that led me to the people that I love and the places that I am.
If my Young Women leaders hadn't advised me to go to the Recognition Dinner when I was 13, I wouldn't have met my best friend.
If my mom hadn't been SOOOO into TJEd when I was younger, I wouldn't have found Williamsburg Academy, and I wouldn't know ANY of these amazing people that I associate with.
If I hadn't been forced into going to YFF 2 years ago, I wouldn't have been led to meet so many people that have changed my life. In fact, I'm not even sure I would be alive. I also wouldn't have met my roommates.
If I hadn't been pressured into going to game night a few months ago, I wouldn't have met one of my best friends.
Outside forces. I didn't want to participate in any of those activities, but good things came from each and every one. I was put in uncomfortable situations that pushed me outside my comfort zone and I'm a better person for it, and I know amazing people that are such a blessing to me.
A bad day isn't a bad life. That's something I constantly have to remind myself. Just because I have days where I want to throw in the towel, doesn't mean that I have a bad life. In fact, I don't really have a right to be unhappy with my life. There are so many people with so much less than me. It doesn't really matter how unhappy I am, my life ain't half bad and I should be grateful for what I've got. I can whine and complain all I want. I can say "If I only lived in New Mexico still, I'd be happy" or "If I had my dog, I'd still be happy" or even "If I could just meet the person I'm supposed to marry, I'd be happy" and NONE of that would mean I could be happy. Was I happy in New Mexico? No. I had my dog earlier this year, and was I happy? No. I can either choose to be happy or not, no matter my circumstances.
That being sad, it's okay to have bad days. I think you're allowed to have a day when you sit in your bed in your pajamas, wallowing a little bit, and crying. It's okay to not always be happy. But then that day ends and you need to let that bad day be in the past. Still working on that last part.
Most of my posts don't make a lot of coherent sense, and that's probably because I let my mind wander as I write and I have a lot of conflicting opinions. I have flawed logic.
I guess my point is this. Everything is circumstantial. But what you choose to do with those circumstances is yours. You can have horrible circumstances but be incredibly happy, and vice versa. And that's where one of the biggest flaws of society is, in my opinion. A lot of people think that it's all circumstances. But it's not. You decide how you deal with those circumstances.
Have a good day, ya'll. Or have a bad day. It's up to you. Me? I'm gonna continue having a not-so-great day, and I'm gonna go get ice cream with my roommate.
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