If beauty doesn't matter, does that just make you a loser?

Paris has the highest amount of Tourist traffic year round over any other destination.

Aside from the fact that it's somewhat annoying to live somewhere so heavy with tourism, it's given me a continuous refresher of the culture back home.

The culture in France is somewhat different than in the US. Aside from the more obvious, there's this whole bit about how the people(specifically the women) aren't absorbed in dieting fads. There are dozens of reasons why, but the most important to me is that these women KNOW how to take care of themselves, and so they do, and they're proud of their bodies.

This isn't even the point of my post, but I promise I'm getting there.

While in Paris, I haven't seen nearly as many negative ads towards women. There isn't this huge air of horrid self-image. I'm not saying that they don't judge themselves. But the fact is, MOST of the women care about their bodies. They don't sit in front of the tv at night(or ever, really) and binge eat Ben & Jerry's and packaged cookies. They don't snack mindlessly while they do homework/work/sit at the computer. They eat three meals a day. No more, no less. They take their time, and eat until they're just content, not stuffed. And their dessert, unless they're on holiday, usually consists of fruit.

A few weeks back, I was walking to the library, not really paying attention to my surroundings. You know once you know the pattern, and routine of somewhere you're going, and you stop paying attention to the trip, but only the destination? So, as I'm walking, I hear a group of people speaking English ahead of me. Now, remember how high the tourist rate is in Paris? Despite this, I always get somewhat excited when I hear people speaking English. My brain turned off auto-pilot for a minute as I took in this family. One of the girls in the family looked to be about 12-13. She was a bit on the chubby side, and wearing a shirt that said "BEAUTIFUL LOSER".

And I got kinda mad.

I don't think I would ever see a Parisian wearing something self-deprecating like that.

What is it about Americans that make us feel like it's okay to consistently put ourselves down? And have it be accepted by everyone?

Some people argue that if we're drawing the attention to it purposely, it's kind of like owning up to it. Like,if we make fun of it first, no one else can make fun of it, right?

I used to think like that. In fact, 2 years ago my best friend and I made t shirts(Glee style) that clearly stated our biggest physical insecurity. Later that week, we wearing them and another friend walked up to me and said, "Why on earth would you wear that?" I blinked a few times before telling him that I was owning up to my ugly legs. He looked at me like I was stupid, and then told me that he wouldn't have noticed any problems with my legs until he saw that shirt. Once he saw the shirt, he started wondering if there WAS something wrong with my legs(we were at a lake. So seeing my legs all day, every day, is an inevitability).

The thing is, if that girl wasn't wearing a shirt that screamed "LOSER" I wouldn't have thought she was a loser. No one would.

And, I know it said "Beautiful" first.

But that doesn't make it okay.

That's like saying "Only somewhat disgusting brownies". It's okay because they're still brownies, right?

Besides, if "looks don't really matter", than where does leave this girl? With a shirt that just says "LOSER"??

I've since worn that t shirt a few times. Every time I'd wear it, I'd make sure to pair it with something that covered my legs entirely. And the few times my calves were visible, I would feel so so anxious. I didn't feel like I was owning up to this insecurity. I just felt even more insecure. This past year, I put it on one day sitting in the apartment. And Bonnie turned to me and starting asking about the shirt. Finally, she told me to change out of it before the boys came over. "You don't need to feel negatively about that. No one notices anything wrong, until you throw it in their faces." Even if there was no truth to that shirt, people would see it and decide that, yes, I had ugly legs. Because then they were put under scrutiny, and they would see the flaws that I wanted to hide.

Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose?

I digress.

Our culture is one of being okay with the constant stream of negativity we throw towards each other, and it hits hardest on young girls. If you get under the skin of a girl when she's 12 or 13, and she hasn't grown into herself yet, than that bad self-image is going to stick with her, unshakeable, no matter how much her body changes.

And that's just not fair.