Giving and Getting

I can recall countless nights, before Seth and I were engaged, where I'd get home from 9 hour at school, 4 hours at work, and just sit on my floor and cry. Because I was tired, and I wanted someone to be there, to be a comfort, and my boyfriend was four hours away.

But I can also recall, all of the times that Seth realized what kind of a day I'd had, how upset I was. I would come home to candy on my pillow(delivered by his brother, who lived near me). I would be drowning in math homework and on the verge of tears, and I would receive a phone call telling me to come downstairs, because he had driven up as a surprise, and he had a picnic for me. I would be missing him and I would find a stuffed animal delivered to my door.

He never came up short.

Being able to call him, and fall asleep talking to him, was one of the biggest comforts. That Seth was just a phone call away. And if needed, just a four hour drive. We were lucky it wasn't longer.

But any relationship is a two way street, right? I can't have the most loving and giving boyfriend, and not reciprocate that, and somehow manage to keep him. Although I feel that I can never be quite as incredible as he is, I always strive to put as much into the relationship as I am getting out of it.

I've been in countless relationships in the past, where I felt like I was dating a brick wall. No matter what kind of effort I was putting forth, I got little to nothing in return.

And it always made me wondering if it was because of ME. If in a different relationship, with a better person, would they put forth that effort? Would they be a good boyfriend?

It makes you feel like the boys who treat a girl right are figments of your imagination.

I'm not saying that in order to be treated right, you need a boy who will give you presents and surprise you at your door. Every couple is different, and what is perfect and comfortable for you may not be what is perfect and comfortable for me.

I'm happy with Seth, in a way I had never been happy in a relationship before. I found someone who I loved, and was able to return that love to me fully.

Inspired by this LDR Writing Prompt: Happiness