*insert interesting title here*

I survived midterms.
I love Helen more than I could hope to ever put into words. In fact, I kinda really wanna live with her. Like, just pack up and move there for like, 6 months. Just til summer, then I promise I'll come home and work my butt off for college. :P
Jacob and I are becoming friends again. Which is usually a VERY temperamental thing, our friendship.Oh yeah, I've never really talked about Jacob, huh? Well, that's cuz when I started this blog I was UBER pissed off at him. But I guess I shall give him an introduction.
About a year ago, last November probably, I was in one of my classes(online, remember) and it was kinda three classes combined that day. And I was on webcam flirting my head off with Casey ( ;) ) and my siblings come up behind me and start throwing stuffed animals at me simply because they thought it would be funny.
This boy named Jacob Earle sends me a message saying something along the lines of, "I understand, my siblings are like that too. Can I have your email?" In a not so creepy way. So i give it to him and he promptly emails me. Well my friend Dillon sends me a message that says that he's a creeper and I shouldn't talk to him and so I(being a total turd bucket) send him an email saying back off I'm not interested, cuz he really WAS flirting with me...
We kinda hated each other after that. We would talk occasionally, but it was reaaaalllly awkward. Until one day in March when we talked and somehow became really close. And somewhere in  the next few weeks, I considered him one of my best friends.
Aaaaand then in June I got kissed, and I told him and Jacob got PISSED cuz he wanted my first kiss to be Casey, but Casey and I had already broken up...yeah. Anyway, we had a ton of huge fights, and I kinda hated him. And that lasted until August...and we were at Elevation(my school camp thing) and they did this simulation where we were going to "die" in 2 hours and we could do anything that followed the rules for those two hours. I was like, it's a simulation, it won't be hard, I won't cry. Weeellll....that worked out fine, till I approached Jacob and he wrapped his arms around me. And I started bawling. Like, bawling my flippin eyes out. I almost started hyperventilating. Because I realized how horrible of a person I was and how rude I had been to him, and from that point, the simulation was real. Hardly half an hour would go without me bawling. And the last half hour, I was a freakin waterfall.
After that, I tried to be Jacob's friend, but he still didn't get the picture that whole week. Not until we got back did he get a clue.
We're currently mending our relationship...we'll see how it goes. He'll text me and start a great conversation, then he'll ignore me for a few days. And he won't ever finish that conversation. I'll be talking to cyber space. I really want to fix this, but it's not working...ugh.
Anyway. Life. Uh....Did I mention I love Helen to Eternal Salvation?? Cuz I do...
Casey is suuuuper moody, although he doesn't know it. ;)
My sister Rachel makes me cry almost more than Casey. Weird, huh? I'll tell you about that next time tho... ;)

Just one week

Just one more week, and then this nightmare they call midterms will be over.
My favorite teacher this year, Mr. Ure, gave us the Government test so we can study for it. And really, we can take it anytime we want, it just has to be done by Wednesday at 5. So I kinda want this misery to end, so I think I'll take it this weekend.
But then of course, there's my Lit test...and my Algebra II test. Thank goodness Biology doesn't have a midterm. Why? I have no clue, but Mr. Rees is pretty darn awesome for not making me take one.
Yesterday I went to Walmart and stocked up. One of those huge bags of chocolate candy, cheddar jalapeno cheetos, some nummy granola bars, and tapioca pudding left that store with me. And then I went to starbucks.
And when I got home, I decided that is the LAST time I'm going to Starbucks this month. I know. *sniff* It's gonna be really hard since I usually go at least 3 times a week. But if I wanna go to college next year, I can't be throwing my money away on hot chocolate and frappucinos.
I should figure out how to make my own frappucinos....I should look up a recipe. :D
I've applied for three jobs in the past week, and I haven't heard back from any of them. Ugh. And on top of that, one of my piano students canceled this week. Which means my monthly income just went down 21 bucks.
So yeah, that's not that much. But still. It was a part of my paycheck. A paycheck that is slowly getting smaller as my students slowly drop off....
I need a job, a bigger brain, and some sanity.

School has taken over

School has completely taken over my life. :P
I have midterms next week that I am NOT prepared for...
Then why am I posting on here?
I needed to escape from Algebra 2, because I really don't care what x equals.And really, there was nothing on facebook that was interesting, and no one will email me back...I really should be doing math tho...curse those mathematicians...
All I really wanna do is magically find some candy in my sock drawer(it's all gone. I've checked at least 5 times today...), Skype Casey, and then sleep.
But Midterms won't allow this. It NEVER does...*sigh*

Long time. No see.

You probably didn't miss me much.
I didn't miss you much, to tell you the truth. ;)

Life...life is strange. God works in mysterious ways.
There's this girl that I've hated for a year. She stole a boy. ;) gooooo figure. And since the weekend before last, we've been buddies. And not just friends. But we clicked. She's super sweet and  I love her. :) And it's nice to finally  have a friend that lives within a 500 mile radius...

Helen is amazing. She has been with me through  everything recently. Like, pretty much all summer. She helped me through my breakup with  Casey. She helped me with Casey withdrawals(still is). She helped me with my horrible first kiss story(...). She's supported me every single  time I feel like poop. She finds virtual possums for me to murder when I'm on my period. ;) She's my second amigo, since we only need two. She's my sprinkle buddy. I love her to freaking death. And then back. Because that's how amazing she is. <3

I have this amazing friend. And he wrote this beautiful poem. And it moved me to tears. And it made me think...you know, we can go for such a long time, not telling people how we feel. Not letting our emotions show, because we're afraid. We're afraid of other people's reactions. But guess what? WHY SHOULD WE CARE?! We are the masters of our fate. And no one can decide what we're gonna do, think, and say. So why do we worry?? Why can't we just say what we need to? Can't we all just let go of our  insecurities? Heaven help me to be better at this...

Because of his poem, I'm trying. I'm really trying. Yeah. It's crazy what a little piece of well-written poetry can do to a girl.