How did it get turned around??

My last post? Yeah, that's the last time life was great. Almost a month ago.

On the way back from the airport to drop Layne off, I got lost, scared me half to death.
My situation with jobs and school/college applications hasn't gotten any better.
My relationships in this state and with my family are crumbling.
AND it snowed this week. WHAT THE HECK?!?! IT'S NEW MEXICO, PEOPLE!!!
I just got back from the ortho....guess who's a brace face??

Life, please turn around and make me happy.

Thank you.

Dear world...

Dear world of bloggers/people who read blogger.
I'm happy. Very happy.
My very good friend from school, Layne, came and visited me this weekend. And she is still here. In fact, she's sitting next to me. She says hello.
This makes me grateful for the friends I've made at school. The people who have similar values as me. Same educational goals. Same desires. It makes me so happy. I'm so blessed to go to my school and to know these amazing people.

Bored in Bio....Stolen from Helen

Outside my window...

My siblings are trying ride my dog...and failing...

I am thankful for...

Casey Furman

In the Kitchen...

it smells mucho gross.

I am wearing...
Sweats. Duhhh.

I am creating...
Dust. :P

I am going...
to do my laundry...*sigh*

I am wondering...
if that cute guy who showed up at acupuncture will be there tonight...

I am looking forward to...
Greenman's farewell.

I am hearing...
Whistling and "AARON!!! AARON!! YOU GET TO PLAY WII!!"

Around the house...
is a disaster.

I am pondering...
whether to cave in...

One of my favorite things...
best friends.

A few plans for the week...
No homework, and partying with Layne. :)

Sur-prise

I've been having a pre-Christmas crisis.
See, I only have one present planned out, as I think I mentioned in my last post....i don't remember tho...well, anyway. That present is Helen's. *giggle* It's the best present ever. Some of it I already have, some I have to order, some I have to go to Walmart to get certain elements...*giggle* Giving gifts makes me giddy. So thinking about her spicily fierce present makes me happy. :)
And then there are those other people who I don't know as well as Helen. And most of them....I have no clue what to get them. I have *counts on fingers* 9 presents to shop for, not including Helens. I've figured out a few peoples presents...so that's...7 more to figure out...
Every suggestion I've gotten, it's been something like: "Write them a letter!" Uh, no. "Give them a call. People love talking to you." Yeah right. "Get them something they'll use all the time! Like a pocket knife!" .....someone help me, please.
I don't like giving generic gifts. I like them to be personalized to the individual. Something to do with a joke. Like, for my friend Tori's birthday, I wrote inside jokes all over a card, and filled the envelope with rose petals, because it was funny to US. Like Helen's present....*giggle* I am soooo tempted to spill a few details about her present, but I know she's going to read this in like, five minutes, so I refrain. But it may just be the best present she's ever received.
To give you an idea of what I give...for one of my friends, I'm getting him a big and boring text book....and then i'm cutting a hole in the pages and stashing it with candy. For another friend, I'm buying her a purple cape and i'm also sending a twig and a leaf. Why? Cuz it's funny to US.

I am so desperate, that I might just google creative gifts...:P

Christmas!! Early...

My love language is gift. Don't know what that is? Please google it, I don't want to explain. :)
This basically means, that the way I feel loved the most is when people give me gifts, and in return, I love giving gifts.
Christmas is just around the corner. So, I've been planning presents...Helen's present is so epic, it would make grown men cry. ;)
But see...then there's the guys...and...boys suck at receiving presents.
Me: What do you want for Christmas?
Boy 1: Nothing.
Me: Come on. Anything.
Boy 1: A conversation with you, face to face.

Me: What do you want for Christmas?
Boy 2: A letter.
Me: Okayy...anything to go with the letter?
Boy 2:...a hug?

Me: What do I get guys for Christmas?
Boy 3: Uh...how bout a pocket knife?

*faceplam*

This is gonna be a lot harder than I thought...I would go visit them all for Christmas, but...I can't. And usually if I need a quick present, I buy people socks. But...that doesn't work too well with a bunch of guys, eh? *sigh* Suggestions? No? I didn't think so...
Maybe I'll google it...

I don't even know anymore...

I don't know what it is about being rejected and replaced, but part of it gets easier every time.
And part of it gets harder.

I've been facing a lot  of rejection  in my life recently. I've been dealing  with it non-stop since I was young. It's part of life. Everyone feels it. I've had a good life. I've been blessed with a great family, and most of the time, great friends. But...I've been...scarred?

When I was...almost 8, there was this girl named Stephanie Shelley. And she beat me up, verbally and physically, whenever she got the chance. Which wasn't often, thank goodness.
When I was 12, my best friend stabbed me in the back(noooot literally) and I had trouble coping. I had NO friends for two years.
I have 6 sisters....nuff said.
I know I have it easy. But...I've been hurt...

Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions...maybe I'm overreacting...
My sister is betraying me. She's rejecting me. Excluding me. The girl I thought was my best friend...
And Jacob? Let's not even go there.
I'm clinging onto Helen. I can't let her go. I just can't. And, maybe I get jealous  too easily. Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I just need to slap my hand and say, "Aurora. Suck it up and pretend nothing's wrong." But I'm tired of crying myself to sleep. I'm tired of feeling friendless and left out. I'm tired of spending my time reading school books, watching psych, and eating Nutella by the spoonfull....

Shoot me? Any takers?

I'm *supposed* to be studying for a biology test right now. But I'm not. And no, it doesn't *exactly* matter that I'm taking the test in 18 minutes, and I'm not prepared. Whatever. I'll just mutter the answers under my breath so I can *hopefully* pass this test...

*muttering: Order, Growth and Development, Reproduction, Energy Utilization...*

I applied for College a few days ago.
Uh....I honestly don't remember if I've posted about college before...but either way...I'm going next year. And I'm in the process of applying, cuz I have to get letters of recommendation and have meetings with people and all of that...awesomeness...and let me tell you. It's really stressful. I'm only a junior, but I have senioritis BAD. I just wanna move away. Away from my siblings, away from my lack of friends here, away from the stupid boys here, away from it all. The only thing I'll miss besides my parents is the sky. Well...and the warmth. Because I'm moving to IDAHO. Where it is COLD. But anyway.

I've wanted to give up. And throw in the towel and just be like "laterr life! Suck it!" And kinda just walk away from school and life and become a hermit that sleeps most of the time. And when I'm not sleeping, I'd be watching psych and stuffing my face with jalapeno cheddar cheetos and nutella. And maybe ice cream and tapioca pudding. And the occasional fruit, but only because I REALLY like fruit.

So what I guess I've building up to is...yesterday sucked. Sucked like a bad kisser with onion breath and chapped lips. It was bad. And the thing is, it was supposed to be a GREAT DAY. I had been thinking about it the day before(which was kinda an average day) and I was excited for yesterday.

I was *mostly* prepared for my two classes yesterday, although the first one REALLY dragged on. Like...annoyingly so. Not that I don't love that teacher. He's my favorite this year. But...I hate that class. After my class, I ran around the house trying to find a pencil skirt, and then trying to find a blouse that would go with said skirt. Why? Because *I* had a job interview. See the thing is...I really needed that job. Like a LOT.I'm trying to pay for college in a year and I have to make roughly $1000 a month, if not more, if I expect to pay for it. I'm two months into this saving thing, and I've saved maybe $100? Yeah. Screw this. So I FINALLY had found a job and I was excited to finally have an extra income. I get there for the interview and I waited for 40. freaking. minutes. until the lady came out for the interview. The interview lasted about 10 minutes. She was kinda harsh, kinda cold, kinda mean. I didn't like her. And I was very clear that I can't work on Sundays. EVER. It's a religious thing for me. I know a lot of people just think it's a weekend, but it's the Lord's Sabbath and I refuse to work. She said I would only have to work three sundays out of the year: Easter, Fathers' Day, and Mothers' Day. She said, and quote, "If you can't work those days, I can't work with you and you better find a job else where."
I struggled not to cry as I left, simply because she had been so mean. But whatever, right? The Lord blesses people who obey.
Then stuff blew up last night with friends and my sister which I have neither the time or energy to relate.

It's time for the flippin test. Wish me luck...

*insert interesting title here*

I survived midterms.
I love Helen more than I could hope to ever put into words. In fact, I kinda really wanna live with her. Like, just pack up and move there for like, 6 months. Just til summer, then I promise I'll come home and work my butt off for college. :P
Jacob and I are becoming friends again. Which is usually a VERY temperamental thing, our friendship.Oh yeah, I've never really talked about Jacob, huh? Well, that's cuz when I started this blog I was UBER pissed off at him. But I guess I shall give him an introduction.
About a year ago, last November probably, I was in one of my classes(online, remember) and it was kinda three classes combined that day. And I was on webcam flirting my head off with Casey ( ;) ) and my siblings come up behind me and start throwing stuffed animals at me simply because they thought it would be funny.
This boy named Jacob Earle sends me a message saying something along the lines of, "I understand, my siblings are like that too. Can I have your email?" In a not so creepy way. So i give it to him and he promptly emails me. Well my friend Dillon sends me a message that says that he's a creeper and I shouldn't talk to him and so I(being a total turd bucket) send him an email saying back off I'm not interested, cuz he really WAS flirting with me...
We kinda hated each other after that. We would talk occasionally, but it was reaaaalllly awkward. Until one day in March when we talked and somehow became really close. And somewhere in  the next few weeks, I considered him one of my best friends.
Aaaaand then in June I got kissed, and I told him and Jacob got PISSED cuz he wanted my first kiss to be Casey, but Casey and I had already broken up...yeah. Anyway, we had a ton of huge fights, and I kinda hated him. And that lasted until August...and we were at Elevation(my school camp thing) and they did this simulation where we were going to "die" in 2 hours and we could do anything that followed the rules for those two hours. I was like, it's a simulation, it won't be hard, I won't cry. Weeellll....that worked out fine, till I approached Jacob and he wrapped his arms around me. And I started bawling. Like, bawling my flippin eyes out. I almost started hyperventilating. Because I realized how horrible of a person I was and how rude I had been to him, and from that point, the simulation was real. Hardly half an hour would go without me bawling. And the last half hour, I was a freakin waterfall.
After that, I tried to be Jacob's friend, but he still didn't get the picture that whole week. Not until we got back did he get a clue.
We're currently mending our relationship...we'll see how it goes. He'll text me and start a great conversation, then he'll ignore me for a few days. And he won't ever finish that conversation. I'll be talking to cyber space. I really want to fix this, but it's not working...ugh.
Anyway. Life. Uh....Did I mention I love Helen to Eternal Salvation?? Cuz I do...
Casey is suuuuper moody, although he doesn't know it. ;)
My sister Rachel makes me cry almost more than Casey. Weird, huh? I'll tell you about that next time tho... ;)

Just one week

Just one more week, and then this nightmare they call midterms will be over.
My favorite teacher this year, Mr. Ure, gave us the Government test so we can study for it. And really, we can take it anytime we want, it just has to be done by Wednesday at 5. So I kinda want this misery to end, so I think I'll take it this weekend.
But then of course, there's my Lit test...and my Algebra II test. Thank goodness Biology doesn't have a midterm. Why? I have no clue, but Mr. Rees is pretty darn awesome for not making me take one.
Yesterday I went to Walmart and stocked up. One of those huge bags of chocolate candy, cheddar jalapeno cheetos, some nummy granola bars, and tapioca pudding left that store with me. And then I went to starbucks.
And when I got home, I decided that is the LAST time I'm going to Starbucks this month. I know. *sniff* It's gonna be really hard since I usually go at least 3 times a week. But if I wanna go to college next year, I can't be throwing my money away on hot chocolate and frappucinos.
I should figure out how to make my own frappucinos....I should look up a recipe. :D
I've applied for three jobs in the past week, and I haven't heard back from any of them. Ugh. And on top of that, one of my piano students canceled this week. Which means my monthly income just went down 21 bucks.
So yeah, that's not that much. But still. It was a part of my paycheck. A paycheck that is slowly getting smaller as my students slowly drop off....
I need a job, a bigger brain, and some sanity.

School has taken over

School has completely taken over my life. :P
I have midterms next week that I am NOT prepared for...
Then why am I posting on here?
I needed to escape from Algebra 2, because I really don't care what x equals.And really, there was nothing on facebook that was interesting, and no one will email me back...I really should be doing math tho...curse those mathematicians...
All I really wanna do is magically find some candy in my sock drawer(it's all gone. I've checked at least 5 times today...), Skype Casey, and then sleep.
But Midterms won't allow this. It NEVER does...*sigh*

Long time. No see.

You probably didn't miss me much.
I didn't miss you much, to tell you the truth. ;)

Life...life is strange. God works in mysterious ways.
There's this girl that I've hated for a year. She stole a boy. ;) gooooo figure. And since the weekend before last, we've been buddies. And not just friends. But we clicked. She's super sweet and  I love her. :) And it's nice to finally  have a friend that lives within a 500 mile radius...

Helen is amazing. She has been with me through  everything recently. Like, pretty much all summer. She helped me through my breakup with  Casey. She helped me with Casey withdrawals(still is). She helped me with my horrible first kiss story(...). She's supported me every single  time I feel like poop. She finds virtual possums for me to murder when I'm on my period. ;) She's my second amigo, since we only need two. She's my sprinkle buddy. I love her to freaking death. And then back. Because that's how amazing she is. <3

I have this amazing friend. And he wrote this beautiful poem. And it moved me to tears. And it made me think...you know, we can go for such a long time, not telling people how we feel. Not letting our emotions show, because we're afraid. We're afraid of other people's reactions. But guess what? WHY SHOULD WE CARE?! We are the masters of our fate. And no one can decide what we're gonna do, think, and say. So why do we worry?? Why can't we just say what we need to? Can't we all just let go of our  insecurities? Heaven help me to be better at this...

Because of his poem, I'm trying. I'm really trying. Yeah. It's crazy what a little piece of well-written poetry can do to a girl.

I am Crazy

I know none of you really wanted to see my tired face. But you're gonna see it ANYWAY.
I attempted to pull an all-nighter last night. I figured, I'm waking up at 5:30. Might as well not go to sleep.
I crashed at 2:00.
I LET myself. I just put my pencil away, and laid down. I was out like a light. AND THEN I was so hyper this morning at seminary it's not even funny. I made ridiculous faces, and afterwards I was jumping up and down.
Let's see if there's anyone who doesn't think I'm a freak by the end of the week.

I'm writing a book. It's going to be awesome. Usually when I start writing books it's a collboration with someone else and it never *REALLY* gets finished...*cough cough*
This one is kinda like that. But really different. I'm stealing the idea for the book from a book my friend Helen is writing with our friend Sabrina. It's pretty much their accounts of what happened Sophomore year at Williamsburg Academy.
Helen and I stayed up til Midnight thinking of names.
So, since this isn't exactly a collab, I guess this is something new.

This is me yesterday. Not today. You don't wanna see me today.

I promise I'm not obssesive

Ok, So I know I posted just yesterday. And I promise I'm not obssesive. Pretty soon you'll be wondering where on earth I disappeared to.
But something majorly horrific happened this morning, and I had to share the horrible news with the world. I already update my facebook way too often. :P
This morning. THIS MORNING. My brakes have all but died. So, naturally, my sister and I take it to the shop to get an estimate and the guy says he'll call us in 2 hours. 2 HOURS! So we walk up the street to Wendys and we're eating when our friend comes to take us home(what a sweetheart). My sister had a movie to get to, so we're rushing out the door of Wendys and I don't notice until we're ALMOST home that I LEFT MY PURSE AT WENDYS. Which, I mean, isn't too big of a deal. I had no cash...I mean...my debit card was in there...so that's pretty bad...but here's the WORST part.
My DSLR was in my purse. That's right.
You're probably wondering why on earth I brought my BABY to the car shop.
Wellll....my sister and I were planning on going shopping and I thought, wow. What a perfect opportunity to take pictures for my blog. Obviously, we didn't end up doing that.
I HAVE BEEN FREAKING OUT ALL MORNING.
WOULDN'T YOU?!?!
BUT I have the situation under control. My sister is going to pick it up after her movie. I already called Wendys and had them save it behind the counter. But now I feel only slightly better. I mean, who knows what kind of creep working at Wendys is itching to have a DSLR?!?
Ugh. Anyway.
I'm done complaining now, and I'll let you get back to your normal life.

Start of something new?

     I'm one of those girls that always said that she wouldn't have a blog. Cuz I thought it would be kinda pointless....I mean, who wants to hear about my dog Betsy(I don't actually have a dog named Betsy...)?
     But then I met a lot of amazing people who have become very dear to my heart and very important to me. Unfortunatly, these people live around America...Utah, Idaho, Alaska, etc. Obviously, I don't get to see them very often. I am constantly stalking them on their blogs and I figured, "Why not?" I mean, this way I can tell EVERYONE about EVERYTHING that happens all at once, instead of texting each one of them indivudually. Trust me, stories get really old really fast that way...
     I'm not totally sure of what's gonna go on this blog. News, obviously. Pictures, probably.
     I don't really have much else to tell you at this moment...