A little bird told me it was your birthday. I ate him.

Although it is only about 10 AM, I have already had multiple people complain to me because I "hate my birthday".

When I tell people that I don't like my birthday, one of their first reactions is this. I would like a chance to explain myself.

I love birthdays. I love celebrating birthdays. I am not a hermit. BUT, I am not a big fan of my own birthday. Why, you ask?

Birthdays bring this sense of entitlement. "Well, it's my birthday, so..." I don't approve of this, unless you're wanting free food and you have a coupon.

On your birthday, you have this expectation. You expect everybody to remember, everyone to throw you surprise parties, you expect SOMEBODY to show up with a birthday crown and a cupcake to shove up your nose while singing "Happy Birthday" in Swahili. You. Expect. A. Lot. And the hard reality of it is that it almost NEVER happens that way.

Now, this isn't a bad thing. I mean, *I* don't remember everyone's birthdays, so it's perfectly okay that people forget mine. This isn't a problem. I'm going to take you back through time...

Last year, the night before my 17th birthday, I was really upset. I was DREADING my birthday. 17 isn't that big of a deal, you're stuck between two big numbers. Not only did ALL of my friends live out of town, but they were all getting together, from different places across Alaska, to hang out all day. And that had me a bit down. I mean, there was no way they could invite me, duh. And there was no way they could reschedule it, BUT it had me down. I had very low expectations for my birthday. And I was pleasantly surprised. For 20 minutes until Midnight my time, Helen sent me a text, counting down until I was 17. Right around midnight, I got 5 or 6 voice mails from friends, wishing me happy birthday. Most of them called MOSTLY because Helen told them to, but I didn't care. Helen came to class that day ON TIME so she could get the class to sing to me. Which is a big deal. Now, even though that's not like a HUGE thing, those few things totally turned my day around, for the first part of the day. The rest of the day sorta sucked, but that was expected.

When your birthday comes around, you expect it to be wonderful. I mean, you deserve that, right? But it almost NEVER turns out how you want it. And the way I see it, it's best to see your birthday as a normal day. Just a normal old day. Then, if someone does something extraordinarily nice for your birthday, you're not expecting it and it's even better. But then, when NOTHING happens, you're not sobbing on your bed because no one loves you. I mean, come on people. I'm just being realistic.

I'm not being a pessimist. I'm not being grumpy or ungrateful. I'm not looking for more "Happy Birthday Aurora!"s, I get plenty of those on facebook. I'm not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me. I'm just explaining myself, because everyone seems so confused with my outlook.

So, yes, this is why I've told anyone that will listen to me that my birthday was two days ago. And I didn't want anyone in my Seminary class to know/remember that it was my birthday today, which is why I got a little mad when Jodi announced it. Now you're probably sitting there, SUPER confused. You're like, "someone remembered...shouldn't you be happy??" No. Here's why. Once the people in my class knew it was my birthday it was, "let's sing Happy Birthday REALLY loud so Aurora will turn BRIGHT RED." and there's second guessing everything I'm doing. "Oh, you're wearing a scarf today? Why did you dress up? Cuz it's your birthday?" Like, really people. -_- Come on. Those people in my class aren't close, very few of them I consider to be friends. It's just an awkward experience.

So far, my mother has been more excited for my birthday than me. I was laying in my bed, reading for school and she came in and practically JUMPED on my bed, kissed my cheek, and started talking about how excited she was, and she almost started crying because I'm turning 18 and this is a big deal and all. I love my mom, and I really don't mind that. There's a very fine line between what pisses me off for my birthday, and what is perfectly acceptable. I'm not saying I'm not excited for my birthday or the celebration I'll be having on Friday. I'm not saying that. It's kinda hard to explain, and many of you will be super confused still. Eh, it happens.

I'm not a big fan of it. I'm not gonna turn you down if you wish me happy birthday, but I sure as heck won't bring attention to it in public settings. And I'll probably tell you that I hate my birthday, because it's just a normal Wednesday for me. I'm still gonna go to school, do homework, and poop. It's a normal day. And I'm perfectly okay with that. I just felt the need to explain myself a little bit.

Peace out homies. Happy Wednesday. ;)