I can taste the healthy

K, so I moved.

What?

Like, what even?

I'm not sure either, still trying to process it.

Living in Salt Lake City is a little strange. It's so weird living without your family/parents, and buying groceries for the first time was mega weird. But I'm really lucky to have my sister and brother-in-law to lean on. They let me come over and use their wifi(mine still isn't set up...) and they let me hang out with them alll the time. Without them as a support, this would be a million times harder.

Now, I've realized an issue: I don't like people. Well, this is part of the problem. I love people. BUT I don't like people I don't already know. "How does this make any sense?" you are asking? Well, last night as I was talking to my sister and a few cousins it hit me. My cousin hit me over the head with...just kidding. It hit me metaphorically.

I haven't had to actually get to know people for a while. Because my school is online, I get to know people really well online before I actually meet them. Living in the real world is hard, people. All the friends I've made in the past few years, I met online. The boys I like? I met them online. So, I like people. Love them, even. If I already know them before we meet. This is such a first world problem, I can't even handle the irony.

Anyway, off of that onto another tangent. Before I moved I started an "Awkward Thursday" post. I got about two items in and then remembered how extremely boring my life is. SO, I will just let you read those now.

Awkwards:

Whilst working out with Brooke a few weeks ago, we were doing yoga. It's required two days a week. SO. I never switch off of the workout playlist when we do yoga. It's not exactly peaceful music, but it is what it is, yo. Sexy and I know it comes on and it gets to that bridge that goes "wiggle wiggle". You know what I'm talking about. Well...Because it's us, I started shaking my booty. Aaaaand an old man walks past. And stares. And I stop abruptly because it's awkward to continue, but it's also awkward to stop, ya know?
(btw, he passed again 5 minutes later. Thank goodness we were done with yoga at this point.)

Okay, so that was only one.

Last night, I was hanging out with said cousins. You know how everything is funnier when you're tired? It's only like, 11, but this was the funniest thing ever. So, my cousin had gotten a book for a friends baby shower, called Mr. Seahorse. Well, in case you weren't aware, Male Seahorses carry the babies. So...this book was all about that...but uh...it was actually a pretty awkward book. My cousin read it out loud to us as we laughed our pants off. It didn't help that he kept adding things like "and he yelled 'you did this to me'!" as he read how the babies "wiggled their way out of his pouch". I encourage you all to read it. Yes.

That was weird.

Lucky for you, I have something else.

My brother in law may or may not hate me for this.

#thingsdustansays

Me: So, I was just a really really awkward person back then...
Dustan: Aww, Aurora, don't say that...you still are really really awkward.

Dustan: No one likes being bored.
Me: Your mom likes being bored.
Dustan: Hey! Hey! Hey! That's not ni-actually yeah, she does.

Dustan: I'm sorry I pained you.

Dustan: I'll stab you in the neck with this key.
Me: How will you drive home?
Dustan: Uhm...we'll just have to still use it...in your neck.
Rachel: That is so gross.
Dustan: Hey hey, do you dare me to drive with the key in my neck?

Me: *coughs*
Dustan: That was so gross. It sounded like you coughed up a small child.

Dustan: Guys, look at that man!
Dustan: I thought that man was wearing a cape. And then I realized that it was just some trash bags.

Dustan: Do you have a date tonight?
Me: Yeah...
Dustan: Ah-ha! That's it! That's why you smell good. I knew there was something in the way you smelled.
Dustan: Not like I study it tho...

Me: Hey, Dustan, this is the drink my mama wants Rachel to start drinking.
Dustan: This smells like alcohol. Are you giving me alcohol?
Me: Yeah, sure, just drink it.
(This was Kumbucha. He is now hooked.)

Dustan: You flabbergasted butt nugget.

Dustan: Oh gross. I can taste the healthy.

Some of you may have seen these on twitter. Just read it and laugh anyway.

Yo who diz??

Some of you may remember a post I did a few months back titled "She said you'd be my boyfriend". It's about my friend Timmy texting my little sister, not knowing who she was. 

Last week I was sitting on the couch with Autumn, eating peiwei takeout and watching Baby Mama when Autumn got a text from a number she didn't recognize. This conversation ensued. (S stands for Stranger)

S: Yo who diz??

Me: Good question. Who is THIS? 

S: Good question and the answer is Bertha foo now who diz? 

Me: Yo mama. 

S: Really who diz

Me: I wanted to know the same thing. 

S: And I told u is diz cliffton?

Me: Oh you were serious. Who do you think this is, cuz I don't know you...

S: Who is diz

Me: Diz be me yo (insert the same fat lady pic I used for Timmy) 

Me: You scared of me now? 

S: Naw dont txt back. 

Me: Buuuut I thought we'd be friiieenndsssss

Me: Don't leeavvveee me I loooveeee yoooouuuu

S: But idk u

Me: And I don't know you. Why did you text me? That isn't even me. 

S: Sick freak. 

S: Cuz I got my num mixed up

Me: I bet you have a beautiful baby. 

Me: I meant butt. Awkward. 

S: Omg leave me alone. 

Me: But I have no friends now. :(

S: Leave me alone or I'll call the cops. 

Me: Chill dude I didn't think it would come to this. :( goodbye...

S: Then 

This conversation left me dying of laughter. It also left me with many questions. Who is this "bertha foo" and how did she manage to get her numbers so mixed up? I would bet it was on purpose, but don't quote me on that. I also wondered who cliffton was. Would she really have called the cops? And my most important question: What did she mean by "Then"? That question keeps me up at night. Not really. But still, it's a valid question. 

I know it's been forever since I posted. Life is busy, yo. I've been traveling all over the place since school ended, and on top of that I have summer courses. Yay. Update tho. I am moving to SLC at the end of the summer. Woo. So, my NM friends, latah. To my Utah friends, I hope you're as excited as I am. 

#kthanksbye