"God gave her the strength to fly..."

I have attempted, unsuccessfully, to drop off the face of the planet. But, I am back again because I failed.

I have been incredibly busy in the past few months. I mean, it makes sense, right? It's my senior year, which comes with a lot of business. Since school started up again in January it's been crazy. It really hit me that this is my LAST semester in Highschool. I've been REALLY trying to get really good grades, which has meant an increased amount of time devoted to studies. And college. College, people, is a big deal. Since the semester began, I really started working towards knowing what I want out of life. I used to have a very definite plan. I wanted to be a concert pianist, have a few kids, graduate from the music program at BYU, and that was it. It was a plan. However, it's changed. Since last summer, I've been kinda going in and out of my plans for college. At first, it was BYU-I. NO ONE could persuade me different. Then I visited SVU and I was like, "Holy shiznicklebiscuits, I'm going here." And then after some conversations with my boyfriend(at the time) in August, I decided maybe BYU would be nice. And then Helen and I were gonna go to the West Coast and be roomies and life would be perfect. And then this past semester it was like, "LET'S DO ALL OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME." My brain didn't really like that...

After working my sweet little butt off, I sent in all my applications and I've been sitting back, waiting for responses. About a month ago, I decided, just for the heck of it, to apply at UofA. Helen had, at the time, planned on going to Arizona for school and I thought "We'll be closer", and there's this good friend of mine who had applied and I was like, "Dude, yes." so I thought it would all be great. Well, Helen is planning on South Dakota(I think...) and I have no idea about the other friend, but I have really been getting excited about UofA. I already know someone who would be my roommate, and they have a great campus. And it's WARM. And CLOSE. And WARM.

After Midterms last week, I attempted to catch up on homework, and after submitting one Science Study Guide I decided that I was going to watch a thousand tv shows and take 24 hour naps. It's a new week, I'm working towards Finals and the end of the Semester. The end of Highschool. I have a LOT coming ahead this year and I am STOKED.

My letter from BYU came this morning. I waited 15 minutes before opening the email, cuz I was scared out of my pants for this letter. My future basically rode on that letter, ya know?? In Seminary this morning, two people told me that they'd been rejected, so I was incredibly worried. And I got rejected. And aside from the fact that it's a great school and I was looking forward to living near certain people there(*cough* Anela), I'm actually relieved. That's one less school to decide between, ya know? There's a reason I didn't get accepted and I am totally okay with it. I have to send in Housing applications for UofA and get the last form for SVU turned in, and focus on getting A's....and jobs. Dude, I need one of those.

I'm actually planning on being a counselor for YFF this summer, and I am so excited. Like, dudes, you have no idea. IF you weren't sure whether or not to go, GO. I WILL BE THERE AND IT WILL BE AWESOME.

Also, it has been almost a year since my friend Greenman left on his mission. Crazy.

Now, funny things. Saturday night I went to my friend's house, and he showed us this hilarious video. Seriously, go watch it. I almost peed my pants laughing. It was hi.freaking.larious. It was that funny. And we talked about it this morning in Seminary.

In church yesterday, I learned that tacos are okay to eat out of the trash after two hours.

I also learned that if you jump out of the Salt Lake City Temple, God will give you the power to fly into the Great Salt Lake.

Peace out homies.

And that's how it's done

Holy shoot.

I haven't posted in over a week. And I apologize. On top of that, I only have one picture for you. But hey, it sums up my last week pretty well. So it works. So, here's my week/excuse.

Wednesday: The picture at the bottom of the post is from Wednesday. I actually loaded it onto the computer and was going to write a post but I was exhausted from midterms, so I decided to put it off and wait til Thursday.

Thursday: Ha. Our computer was at the repair shop. My mom wanted to expand our hard drive. So I delivered it to the store at 9, and then we didn't see it until yesterday. To fill in my school-less day, I slept. For like, 4 extra hours. And then I watched a stupid movie on my iPod. And then I got crafty. I started making a shirt. Which, although it didn't turn out like the picture, wasn't as bad as I'd expected. I will show you sometime. Maybe.

Friday: I was in the process of bleaching a pair of pants, when I got a phone call from a sister in my ward, asking me to babysit over the weekend. Turns out, she and her hubby were in Texas, and their babysitter got super sick. And they couldn't get tickets home early. So, I packed up and headed over there. I spent all day chasing 4 children. That night, after the kids were in bed, Georgi came over to spend the night with me. We stayed up until 2 am ish. It was so much fun.

Saturday: I spent all day watching the kids, again. Around 6, I took all of the kids to MY house to celebrate two of my siblings birthdays. And then I left them with my little sister while I went to a dance. Which was one of the funnest dances I've been to in forever. Hallelujah, I needed a break. Georgi came over after the dance, again. We watched a horror movie called "The Last Exorcism". Or, about half of it. We kept falling asleep, so we turned it off and went to bed. And neither of us would get out of bed to turn the fan on, cuz demons would get us. It was pretty warm, until we fell asleep.

Sunday: HA! I had to get the children ready and TO church. I was pretty proud of myself, being a single parent over the weekend and all. And then I got paid. Woooot! I came home and passed out on the floor. When I did so, Autumn decided to spell things on my legs using Bananagram pieces. And she took pictures. I'll see if I can find those...anyway. I woke up in time to change for a meeting I had to go to.

Monday: I was so lazy and tired, it wasn't even funny. Monday is actually kinda a blur. I went to seminary, flirted with a cute boy, came home, did a little bit of school, at least, as much as I could without my computer. And then I don't remember much else, except I went on a run. asdfksmdf.

Tuesday: When I came home from seminary, I slept for 2 and a half hours. I don't usually do that. Usually 30 minutes works. I was exhausted. And then I spent ALL. DAY. working on a study guide. At about 3, my headache was so bad, I decided to take a "nap". At which point, my mother decided I was sick(I was), and sent Autumn to film for me(for my dad). And then I slept for 3 hours. At which point I was starving, but didn't want dinner. So I left the house and got sushi with Georgi. And then I laid on the couch as my headache and nausea got worse(no, I didn't throw up. No, it wasn't the sushi). I stayed up til 10, dreaming up futures with Jacob. And then I texted Rachel until about 11, while she told me she came into my room and watched me sleep and smelled me. Goodness, I miss that girl. Then, my mother came in and cleaned my room. Partially. But, it WAS her fault my room was a mess. She decided to sell my desk(which I never use) at the garage sale on Saturday. So, she took all of my crap and basically piled it around my room. So, she piled everything in different places, like on my shelf, so I could find it when I was feeling better so I could clean up a little. And then I passed out.


There are two things I've wanted to write about since last week. I will write about the second thing, because it falls under something I mentioned earlier.

The family I was babysitting had twins. Now, I've seen twins before. I'm not trying to make this seem like a major phenomenon. My best friends when I was 8 were twins. So, it's not that novel. But, these twins were 2. So it was before that whole "I hate you" going through puberty crap. It was a brother and sister, and they were the most adorable thing ever. And it made me think of a couple things.

First, it made me miss my sister. Rachel is one of my best friends, and since she's moved, it's been a little hard. And then it made me miss other friends of mine, mainly Helen.

Second, it made me wish I had a twin. A real, legitimate, blood twin.

Here's why: The companionship that these two had, it was amazing. They were always looking out for each other, they wanted to sit next to each other every meal, they couldn't go to bed unless they were both there, I mean...it was amazing. I mean, wouldn't that be awesome? To always have someone to stand up for you? Someone to always be there, always have a friend? I think that would be absolutely amazing.

In my head, this portion of the post was a lot longer. So I apologize.

Anyway. Picture!

This was right after I finished midterms on Wednesday,

The end.

Applicable Song Lyric: "It cannot wait. I'm yours."

PS, I will be posting tomorrow. I promise. Get ready for a gajillion awkward/awesome things. If I can remember them all...

Oink oink

Hallo, friends. I'm posting yesterdays picture and todays picture. I realized something amazing yesterday. See, my computer sometimes hates me(we've all experienced this). A few years ago, it would let me plug my SD card into my computer and upload the pictures straight from that. However, it stole that privilege from me, and since then I've had to plug my actual camera into the computer. You can now understand how obnoxious uploading a picture everyday can be. Here's the exciting news: I walked up to my sister, who was on the computer, yesterday. So I could kick her off. I needed the computer! Anyway, I discovered that she was uploading her pictures. VIA SD CARD. I totally flipped out, and grabbed my VERY full SD cards. And tried it. And realized that it was working.. And I felt like my life was suddenly a thousand times better. So maybe this will affect the daily posting. Maybe it won't. Whatever. It was exciting.

K, so, yesterday sucked. So badly. I am not a big fan of the kids I sit next to in Seminary, mostly because they make fun of homeschoolers in the way that makes me want to punch them in the esophagus. The teasing and jokes were especially bad that morning. And I came home and got frustrated with my midterms. I wanted to do basically EVERYTHING but that midterm(which I am still preparing). And my mom changed my presets in the car. And threw away my favorite fortune(I save fortunes from cookies and stick them on the clock in my car). I know all that doesn't seem like a lot, but it was also a Monday. And MIDTERMS. I was kinda miffed. So, I went to Walmart and splurged. I won't tell you all the things I bought. We'll just say it's a lot. And I kinda yelled to no one while I was driving. And then I came home and hugged my mom and cried. And then studied while eating some of the crap I bought. The prospects of the day were NOT bright.

And THEN. I got a package.

It was a late birthday present. From Layne. We really suck at sending packages/presents on time. We just do. My present came around her birthday. Her present will arrive around my birthday. Part of that's cuz we're busy, the other half is because we're really into DIY. ANYWAY. This present was superb. The box was covered in slips of paper with Psych quotes on them. Our very favorite ones. Inside was even BETTER. It was two mugs, which she'd decorated herself. An apron that she embroidered, and probably sewed(I haven't checked that yet...), and 29 sporks from Taco Bell. Or some other place that has sporks. It was wonderful. Now, the sporks don't make any sense to you. And they don't have to, because they make sense to us and that's what matters. Anyway, I cried a few tears of joy at the arrival of the present. It totally turned my completely crappy day around. When I went to work later, I brought one of my mugs with me. I know you don't usually do that, but I don't conform.

Today has been better in the fact that I haven't thrown anything, cried, or yelled. But I've eaten way too much, cussed a little under my breath(sorry), and banged my head against the keyboard. Multiple times. Now, I have to go finish writing the essays for my history midterm. So, enjoy the pictures.

Yesterday. I love this mug so much. 

aaaaand today. This is me at the desk, working my butt off. See my mug of tea? It was fabulous, especially cuz of the mug it was in. 

Yes, I'm wearing the same shirt...when I came home from work, I fell asleep immediately. And then I woke up and went to seminary in it. No one else will see me all day, and it doesn't smell. So don't judge too harshly. We all do it. Sometimes. During test times...

Song of the day: "I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily."

I'll let you spend forever waiting on...these posts ;)

 I have an excuse. I promise. I haven't posted my photo a day since last Tuesday. Which is kinda long ago, even tho it doesn't seem that way to me...But anyway. Let's go on a journey.

Wednesday. I took the picture. Yay. I was going to upload it when I got home from dance at 9 pm, but my brother in law was on my computer. So, I went to bed after stretching, because I didn't really want to stay up any later. I was exhausted. Can you blame me?

Thursday: I took the picture at 11 pm. I was so tired, you wouldn't believe. I spent forever contributing to the dinner we made for guests, then went straight to work, then straight to a YW meeting, and didn't get back til almost 11. So, I basically hopped into bed. After taking the picture, to post the next day...

Friday: I took a picture first thing(it's not the one I ended up using, but I was prepared) and planned on uploading it during class. But, I felt compelled to pay lots of attention during class. Mostly cuz we had a trivia game on greek mythology, which I was boss at. And then went to work. And then straight to another YW meeting. It was actually a craft night for our upcoming YWIE..which is where my picture from that day comes.

Saturday: The word "exhaustion" does not begin to cover Saturday. I woke up at 4 am, people, to go to the balloon fiesta with the Young Women. And they didn't even launch the balloons. Cuz it was "too windy". Come on, people. How long have you lived in this state?? You should be used to this by now!! After the first session of General Conference, I was way too shaken up to upload any pictures, so I sorta just compromised by crying for a while. After the second session, I went to work. Shock. Er. And then watched Avengers with my family. For the first time. and I am so tempted to buy every Marvel shirt I can find and make a life long quest to be an extra in one of the Avengers movies(Anela, that's how we'll meet them!!). I then watched the Notebook in my room, cuz I was stupid about sleep and I needed a chick flick. Don't judge.

Sunday: Conference. I didn't want to mess with my blog on Sunday. Sorry peeps.

Today: Congrats. I picked my pictures, and I posted them here for your viewing pleasure. I went on a run with my sister this morning. It was a sad little run. My lung problem acted up, resulting in a run even shorter than the short run that was planned. And Autumn wanted to walk the majority of the time. Which was obnoxious. And she fought me the whole time. I think I'll run by myself tomorrow...Also. It's freezing cold. I am wearing my fuzziest socks, and a huge hoodie. And I am cold. Someone come warm up my hands, pretty please. PLUS, I think I like a hopeless romantic. Who lives nowhere near me. Why do they always live 2345823452304958 miles away? Beats me. God has a sense of humor.

Aves went grocery shopping with me. And we jammed out to music. And it was awesome.

So. Freaking. Tired. 

I'm a T-rex. And this would be why neither of us have boyfriends...

This is at the failure balloon fiesta. Everyone, say hi to the top of Jodi's face. And the bottom of mine. 

I taught my brother how to knit during conference, because he was bored. He kept knitting, even after it was over. It made my day.

This would be us after our morning run. Our EASY morning run, I should add, since I don't usually bring Autumn with me. Therefore, we went at a snails pace. And didn't even run a mile. It was sad. Hence the reason we don't look totally dead. 

Hasta la Pasta, people. Until next time...which may or may not be tomorrow...

Applicable song lyric of the day: "You throw your head back laughing like a little kid. I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause he never did." 

7 years of pure *insert adjective here*

Sometimes...sometimes you feel like the world is falling on top of you. I know I'm a 'teenager' and I'm prone to thinking that the world revolves around me and blowing problems out of proportion.

At a church event, a leader made a timeline on the chalkboard. There were 14 'sections'. Each stood for 7 years. The first segment was from birth to your 7th birthday, the second until you were 14, and so on, adding 7 years to each segment. The third segment, from ages 14-21, was 'the most important'. Now stop and think about this. You'd think, at least I did, that it would be the 4th or 5th. Or possibly the 10th. During the 4th and 5th you're building a family and a career. In the 10th, you see your posterity and that's pretty important. But I bit my tongue and let him explain. And as he explained, I began to agree.

A short time before the third segment starts, your 14th birthday, you're surrounded by peer pressure and decisions. When you're 14, you start going to high school. You are surrounded by a LOT of opinions, a LOT of decisions. You start dating shortly after. You pick your friends. Many people pick a spouse at the end of this segment, which is a big deal. You're choosing who to spend the rest of your life/eternity(if you believe in that) with.

Are you starting to see the significance?

With all the pressures from ALL sides, it's hard to figure out who you are. It's HARD to avoid peer pressure. It's HARD to pick good friends. It's HARD to decide who to date. It's HARD to be a teenager. Some people use this as an excuse for stupid things they do. We all abuse that. I'm surely guilty of it. But that's not my point. What I'm saying is, that we as teens make a lot of pivotal points at this age and THIS segment affects our life more than ANY other segment of our lives. If you hang out with the wrong people, you could wreck your life. I don't mean that in a BAD way, but I'm saying...if you spend your time with druggies...your life doesn't look super promising. I'm not judging, however. You want to do that, go ahead. I'm not stopping you.

This is not a post about how the world revolves around me. This is not a post about my complaints. This is not a post about my excuses. This is a post about my views and my opinions.

As aforementioned, sometimes your world begins to crush you. This is usually RIGHT around the time when I feel like this. It's finals. I'm stressed. Aren't we all? I'm worried about money because college is just around the corner. Aren't we all? I'm worried about my friends, for multiple reasons. I'm worried about decisions I've made. Stupid ones. Good ones. Things I regret. I'm starting a job, and planning for that takes time and stress. Oftentimes, we feel as tho there are MANY things crushing us. But when my lovely headmaster pulls up the slide in class that says, "FINALS", I groan loudly and hide under my desk. I don't want to face them. I feel super accomplished at the end of finals, especially when it means 4 1/2 months of freedom. However, EVERY problem that comes up at this point feels like it's blown out of proportion. A lot.

Can't everyone put the drama at the BACK of the top shelf and shut the door? Can you just walk away? Would you STOP complaining about your life? I know I'm one to talk. My problems aren't that big, in retrospect. My problems are just as big as yours. They may be different. I might not be able to relate too well.  I really shouldn't get angry for you having blessings that I don't have, because I have blessings you don't have.

But I digress.

I'm at a crucial stage of life. I'm 17. I'm dating. I'm forging friendships. I'm deciding what to study. My habits, in exercise/eating/time management/studying, will stick with me for the rest of my life. I'm already stressed. When you realize that you might just be messing up your life and hurting your future, it adds to stress.

This past week, starting last monday, has been one of those weeks. Where I can reeaalllyyy feel the stress of my relationships, study habits, and EVERY THING ELSE just beating down on the back of my neck.

Summer, please come quickly.

And while you're at it, I wouldn't mind the beginning of stage 4.